Lost in the motion

Hi hi I am back to the living since my illness and my trip to Japan. And honestly I feel really lost!! HELP! I am still living, breathing, moving, doing individual but I have a total loss of meaning and purpose in whatever that is going on around or inside of me. It’s a eeky feeling that I want to get rid of… how do you start living again?

Have u ever watched some tv show where everyone is the background is rushing around like ants on a hot pan and there is just one joker who is like moving in slow motion? That’s me. I am so tired of going through this whole process again of finding meaning and purpose in the work that I do. In fact, I pretty much think that my colleagues have got enough of me going through this over and over again. I don’t want to complain too much – it makes me lose credibility.

But this whole thing sucks. I don’t know how to tell someone honestly that I got enough of what I am doing already. I want to get out of here. I dread to say that I want to do something else, quit or something but that would imply that I am giving up on everything I have built on this passed one year. Everything I made myself believe in, things I made people believe in… It would mean that I was wrong all these while… was I?

Can’t say I want a break… I have been having so much breaks it hurts. I am just really lost in the motion. Totally clueless about life right now. And I suppose it all boils down to going back to God. Goodness I cannot remember when was the last time I actually read the Bible or did any Bible study. Way out of touch and I suppose this is the result of being away from the vine.

3 thoughts on “Lost in the motion

  1. yeah… i think i’m kind of getting what you’re getting… the sense of lostness, knowing that you are starting to hate what you’re doing but not knwing wat else to do?

  2. Eh… Get a grip on yourself… I don’t think anyone around you are sick of hearing you more than they are sick of hearing themselves complain about how meaningless work is everyday.

    What I really mean to say is that it is fine you are going through this slump. Everyone is entitled to stuckups once in a while and to be honest, people OLDER than you are going through this everyday of their lives so why should you worry so?

    You don’t have to find purpose and meaning in the work you do. Just because others seemingly believe firmly in their work doesn’t mean that they genuinely believe. Especially if they are working simply because everyone around them are. Motivation comes from the inside, not from the outside.

    Don’t find a purpose in your work, because maybe there isn’t any high and mighty purpose in working at all. Just learn to enjoy the process and the company of the people around you.

    AND TELL US THAT YOU FEEL LIKE A JOKER. 🙂 I think we all need some entertainment every now and then.

    Talk to Him more if you feel like it, more so if you don’t feel like it.

  3. hey hey!

    you scared already ah? dun dare to put up more entries?? or have you been forbidden to update here and shifted to another blogsite liao?? sigh…. do update me ok?? see ya!

    Your client…

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