Sometimes I wonder the more you think about something, the more likely for it to happen. Just when I was beginning to wonder if the timing was right for Joel to have a sibling and for us to have another child, God gave us that gift. If I look it from the positive POV, it meant that He felt that we were ready to be parents… again!
Honestly it wasn’t planned, just like Joel, but then I have come to trust in God’s timing. Anyway when it comes to parenting, seriously, when is ever the right time? I doubt even the most prepared couple is ready to face the prospect of having a child for the first time or everytime.
So anyway I’m not peeved or anything about the second baby on her way. Not particularly excited too because I’m dreading the whole labour process and delivery and yes, sleepless nights all over again. Plus this time, cross my fingers, that I don’t have to deal with sibling rivalry as well.
Gonna have to do my best to involve Joel in the whole business so he doesn’t feel left out but rather relish the idea of having another addition to the family.
Projecting the future, it also means that I can still retire by age 50. =) By then both Joel and Kyria (tentative name for the baby girl) will attend university at the same time so financially might be abit tight for both Theo and I. But imagine, by 50, I can safely begin my hmm… 10 years of travelling? Hahaha before I become too old or a grandparent.
Then again with all the global warming and end of world signs, I’m apprehensive that I probably will never get to see the world when I reach that time.
Anyway just had a revelation today while in church with Joel this evening. Because weekends are like the only times I don’t have to work and am available to do whatever I want, being stuck at home with Joel for the two days can really be a drag.
I mean, come on, I really want to get this or that done or just spend some personal time watching dvds, sorting the finances, playing WOW, reading a book or doing some household chores but instead I have to spend all the day tending to my little boy who simply cannot allow me to leave him alone for more than 15mins! It can get really frustrating when I think about it.
But suddenly today as I was looking at him play in the cozy room, I wondered why I had to regard spending time with my son as a waste of time? I know give me a big knock on the head. Some parents crave for the time to be with their children and here I am complaining.
Maybe I should have a change of perspective, that spending time with Joel isn’t a waste, it’s a limted offer period. I mean give or take another 10 years or less, he’s probably done with spending time with his naggy mummy FOR GOOD! So I really should treasure the moments that I can with him yah? Well I can only try.
Just a last note, I have transferred to another department within my organisation and have been learning the ropes for the last two months. So far it has been better than I expected. The job nature is quite unlike fund accounting because firstly work doesn’t end everyday, it is just a never-ending list of things to do, aka, common mailbox, which subsidiaries around the world send requests to which we have to tend to.
And secondly, we work as a team. I need to constantly remind myself that we work as a team here and that I am not the only person who has to clear the mailbox. I can get over enthusiastic at times and take on more requests than I can. And thirdly, it is never the same day to day. Almost like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.
Another wedding dinner of an ex-colleague to attend this Tuesday. Man, I dread having to be around them again. I really did enjoy the fellowship then but I think I must have evolved being not so self-employed anymore. I hate having to feel like a drop out again and worse to face that someone whom I know is going to be so indifferent but I would rather not be so or just totally not be there at all.
I hate this hot-cold-lukewarm treatment, I can never understand how to react to such situations or deal with this in my life. But like everything else, it is part and parcel of life.