It is amazing how time flies. It is already March and soon the first quarter of the year will be over. I am taking stock of the year in such a minuscule way because 2011 is the year I was so sure that I would fulfill a dream to go overseas and work. I don’t have a plan, I just trust with all my heart that God would make a way for me, if that is His will.
Even though I have been looking forward to this since I made the plan 6 years ago after my first child was born, now that it is staring at me, I am not so sure I want to fulfill that dream anymore. Seems like I am giving up but when reality strikes, I am not confident to make the necessary sacrifices to realise it. Especially it is MY dream which may not translate into benefits for those I love.
And the irony of it all. Last year when life was simply miserable in my current job, I was desperate to bail out the moment I complete my one year contract. How amazing that God hears my desperation and things have miraculously made a turn for the better.
Colleagues who are mean are still mean but I found a renewed boldness at work and understanding on how to get things done. Appreciation and recognition from the bosses for the effort and increased responsibilities in areas of my liking. Not to forget the huge bonus received even though I joined only June last year. I expect it to be an exciting year ahead.
The calendar marks 97 more days before the end of my contract which is very likely to be extended or made permanent. It also means only 6 months thereafter to make true my dream. But that means quitting my present job just when everything seems to be working well, leaving the comforts of home and subjecting my children to changes just when my son will be starting formal education next year.
Yes Joel going to primary one next year is the biggest stumbling block. I want him to have a good head start in his education and I want to be there for him. This probably means I will scale down my commitment to work next year or the search for a source of passive income. And there’s my husband asking me if he should stay on in Malaysia and whether the family should join him there.
There’s many ways to realise your dreams. And these opportunities are staring at me in my face. But what is the price one should pay to make it happen and what happens when you cross over and find out that it wasn’t what you hope it would be? There’s risk in every decision one makes. Without venture, there is no gain. Just how much of it should be based on your effort and how much based on God’s provision?