One for the mummy- Joel
Having just delivered my fourth child, I cannot help but notice that many mummies blog about their delivery process but it seems like I have never done so, despite the number of encounters.
Almost 10 years on, I have to say every pregnancy, every delivery, every child is indeed different and tells the next chapter of my life – one seen from the eyes of my faith adventure.
Joel came before his time. But it was a very firm lesson learnt about God and his holiness. As well as His enduring mercy for those who repent of their sins. Joel means Jehovah is God but it was the prophet’s book that spoke volumes to me during that difficult trial of my life.
I had my first visit to KKH in February to confirm my pregnancy. At that time, I had no preference on my doctor so I was assigned to a Dr John Yam. Knowing that I was not married, he asked if I intended to keep the baby. God knows, I couldn’t even answer him then.
But I remembered informing him gleefully 3 months later that I was married and that I was no longer a Miss. I remembered he gave me a pensive smile, wondering how long my blissfulness would last in my ignorance of realities.
During my pregnancy, I was thankful that I didn’t have any morning sickness or cravings though in the second trimester, I suddenly developed some very strange itch on my feet. Not sure if related to pregnancy or choice of footwear but it was so itchy and caused my feet to swell. In any case, I wasn’t in best spirits with Joel, cried quite a lot, was in and out of depression but otherwise focused a lot of my energies completing a huge cross-stitch on the Beatitudes.
In my last trimester, I also embarked on a mission to buy a house for our new family so I literally combed the whole of Singapore by public transport to check out all the sale of balance flats, and when that option closed to us, walked the whole of Pasir Ris east estate to scout potential resale units.
The day before Joel was born, I remember that Theo and I were still walking around Paya Lebar industrial estate area looking out for furniture for our new home. Thinking back, I am amazed that I was able to walk around so much with Joel in my womb.
That night I woke up at 4am with pains in my tummy. I thought that I must be suffering from diarrhoea or some food poisoning so I kept going to the toilet on and off every hour to pass motion. Initially I had some but the pain didn’t go away but I was somehow able to catch some sleep intermittently.
By 9am, I was rolling around in bed in pain. I woke Theo up and told him that something was wrong and that my tummy pains would not go away. He tried to comfort me but it wasn’t long before I suddenly shot up when I felt wetness in my below. I rushed to the toilet and realised that I was bleeding. It was then that I knew that the baby was coming.
Thankfully Theo’s parents had not headed out to work yet. We told them we needed to rush to the hospital. I started to time my contractions – they were coming about once every 5 mins so it wasn’t going to be too long. While Theo’s dad was getting all nervous, Theo’s mum was a picture of calmness. She even asked if she could be fetched to work first as labour is usually quite long.
We arrived at KKH at 10am, registered and immediately put under observation for baby’s heart beat. The nurses came periodically to check my dilation and by the time I was about 5cm, they brought me to the delivery room.
For the next hour, I can only remember writhing in pain on the bed, using the breathing exercises and singing worship songs to ease the pain. It really is a mental struggle. When I was about fully dilated, the doctor came and got me into place for the push. I was hanging on tight to Theo’s hand for support and it took about 10 pushes or so before Joel was finally delivered.
As I write this on hindsight, I really cannot remember if the pain was really that great for me to last that long in labour without any painkillers. Anyway maybe it is my stubbornness that usually helps me tolerate the pain, not allowing human frailty as an excuse for the easy way out.
Joel was delivered in the 38th week, weighing 2.7kg at 12.10pm. It took me a long time to register his birth as we couldn’t decide on a chinese name for him. I definitely wanted the word ‘en’ in it to represent my gratefulness to God. Theo’s mum finally decided to have the middle name as ‘yong’ which means forever as it was a name that could go with many different words. I guess she was preparing for many grandchildren.
Bringing up Joel was not easy, not only were his parents not ready, he was quite the needy child and small eater. Mewonders though if this were indeed the case, having raised two others, if things could have been different.
Joel was warded into hospital when he about 8months old for lung infection. He was down with flu and when his grandparents gave him milk to drink one afternoon, he turned blue so they called the ambulance immediately. When I was told of this while at work, I remembered breaking down and crying in the toilet. I was such a bad mother.
The hospital stay was painful as Joel had to be pricked and prodded to remove the phlegm from his body and blood to test for inflammation. He was crying throughout nonstop and the only thing I could do to comfort him was either breastfeed or carry him. But he recovered soon after within the week.
I remembered my mother took over looking after him after this episode instead of sending him to the infantcare so he has always been closer to my mom among the three.
Nine years on, Joel is ever the fidgety child and one wonders if he was born this way or was it that his parents had to constantly move him to soothe him when he was young that he grew up always in motion. The only time he actually sits down quietly is when he draws and he has such a talent for it. I can’t draw for nuts so I am amazed that he is talented in such ways.
Though he is less inclined academically, probably because school bores him as he does not get to move around plenty. He loves soccer too so that confirms my suspicion that he is a kinestitc learner. Must learn to harness this somehow.