For a time such as this

It has been six months since I wrote. Once again, time just flew past. The saying that time and tide waits for no man is indeed true. Regardless of what I do or do not do, time continues its relentless march onward.

At my last update, I shared about my decision to take a leap of faith and tender from my job of 8.5 years. I had no idea what was in stall for me moving ahead. I made that decision armed with only one verse ‘Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord’ Psalm 27:14. But wait for what and for how long, I really had no idea.

I told myself that the least I deserved was a good break and rest after working for 15 years. And since I wasn’t having any luck with my 20+ job applications, I figured I would give myself a 3-month break to recuperate my mind, body and soul. But deep in my heart, I was really panicking. I didn’t know why I wasn’t getting a single response on my applications. Surely I’m NOT that old yet, and surely my track records spoke for itself on my capabilities. And I even said I was willing to commensurate at a lower pay since I didn’t have the technical skills for the area of work I was applying for.

A couple of years back I attended a conference on community management and the speakers inspired me. I told myself then that I wanted a career in corporate social responsibility. It almost felt like a calling. After being in government service for so long, I had a keen sense of the gaps that needed to be filled. And being in communications also taught me about the value of CSR in brand management. And by nature, I am someone who felt deeply for the environment and to some extent social causes. So I only looked for jobs in this area even though I had no experience. I thought that my passion would show in my CVs.

Alas, as time passed I realised that seeking for jobs in this manner was quite futile. Perhaps it was a stigma associated with age or position (I was already too high ranking to be employed for a entry to mid level role though I really didn’t mind starting from scratch. I had the financial capability to tide through a lower pay.) Perhaps the private sector had a stereotypical perception of public sector employees and I honestly don’t blame them. I felt unjust that working hard at what I enjoyed earned me promotions but in the end of it, it just made me even less employable than someone of a lower rank and lesser experience. How was this even fair?! I certainly wasn’t going to crawl back to my ex-employer even though they did offer me a back door. I just needed to prove to everyone else that you can leave the public sector if you adapted well enough.

But while I was feeling a little uneasy, I was always hopeful. God had never failed me even when I walked through the shadow of valley of death. I knew He still had a plan for me but never did I expect that His plan was so different. An acquaintance I had gotten to know at my last job had started a new venture. It was a financial advisory firm with a difference and he was looking for trainers. It was something I could definitely do though it wasn’t my ideal next job – recall I wanted something related to CSR. But since I was out of options, I decided to thicken my skin and dropped him an email.

He responded in kind and next thing I knew, we met for lunch. He told me about this new set up and what it set out to do. Coincidentally or not, I had been following the developments of this initiative back in my old job as it was something that piqued my interest. As we spoke, I got more interested in being part of this venture and then we spoke about roles and pay package. I knew that as a start up and a social enterprise and equipped with my rusty FA experience from 12 years back, I shouldn’t expect much. I was willing to accept up to 30% cut but he told me nonetheless to just provide him with my current annual package, which I did. Within the day, he got back to me and told me that they could match exactly what I was getting! I was stunned!

Here I was speaking to a work acquaintance whom I’ve interacted with less than 8 times in as many years, willing to offer me a job just after one lunch together, to take on a role which I do not have direct experience on, paying me what I currently earn even though he knew I had no bargaining power having already tendered. It felt entirely like a miracle to me. Of course I didn’t want to question him there and then but I later found out that he had gone straight to the CEO and told her that he wanted me on the team even though I was costly to employ. It is not like I was a household name that she or he should have placed such faith on. I was a nobody and he only knew my potential from the few work engagements we had together. What amazing faith or perhaps it was God working in His miraculous ways.

I met this acquaintance aka future boss in early November. My last day was 27 November. The paperwork and whole hiring process was cut short many times over and by 22 November, I was offered the employment contract and signed it. I left my old place with a new job waiting for me, and my head slightly higher. While I was thankful for a job that paid me well, I was apprehensive too. What happened to that CSR calling which I felt so certain about? Was I just taking an easy way out? What happened to that 3-month break to rest and recuperate? My boss wanted me to start asap. I relented and said I would start in early January 2019. I got away with a 1-month break.

I’m now 3 months into my new job, leading a small team that does the heavy lifting of research and analysis work for almost everyone in the organisation. We are a small cozy company of 30 odd headcounts. I’m getting confirmed in exactly one week’s time. It is a timely stock take of my current position. Am I where God wants me to be? WITHOUT A DOUBT, YES. There are so many many many things I want to give thanks to him for about my new job.

1. My colleagues are mostly Christians. I have never been in a more ‘holy’ environment. I’ve always had my doubts about faith and work and I still do (sorry) because there is no way people will let faith prevail when it comes to jobs, salary, promotion etc. Pride and greed will rear its ugly head. I’m still doubting but God is teaching me a lot of new truths everyday about what He can do, even if men fails.
2. As a offshoot of being in a Christian led organisation, the culture that my bosses set is vastly different from where I came from. Yes there are still problems, people who fail to pick up the ball in their court, mistakes made that create more work for others and leaders with strategies and directions that don’t make sense. At times like this, I have been trained to spot the root cause and do something about it. This usually comes with a lot of grousing, complaining and sometimes even witch hunting, because you just need people to be accountable.
   But my CEO would have none of that. She believes a lot in grace. I’m critical by nature so I don’t agree with what she’s doing. But I am willing to observe for now and even be proved wrong. Perhaps there is a better way of leading. It may seem superficial, like I’m suppressing what I am really feeling, but the amazing thing is that I actually feel a whole lot better speaking positively with my colleagues and encouraging them, than bitching and ranting about how things should have been. It feels like God is doing a cleansing work in my soul.
3. I love the location of my office. It is set in the middle of Chinatown in a quaint shop house. I have always wanted to work in one! And the ambience around the place is just homely and relaxing. I hardly feel the stress of being in a CBD area or the hectic-ness of a shopping district. We are surrounded by many boutique bistros and cafes which I can just spend my whole afternoon sipping tea in as I watch the world go by.
4. What totally clinched the deal for me though is a realisation that God had put me in this place for such a time as this. All the experiences I have shored up as a financial adviser, fund accountant, communications specialist and even my parenting skills are coming together in this role. Though I admit the actual job portfolio isn’t quite my cup of tea (I have an even more capable report), I found my contribution to the team is in a more intangible way – something like a glue that bonds the teams together because amazingly I can speak the lingo of the advisers, trainers, corporate business, marketing, tech, ops, management – when they aren’t speaking to each other.
5. And for the icing on the cake, my CE spoke to me one day. She said that once our business is financially sustainable, we will start on our CSR efforts because there is so many ways we can do good in the finance world. Amen to that!