Today i actually found the courage to let someone know about the situation i am in right now. Although there were the reprimands, he was actually quite supportive, not of the situation, but of me. Thot i might feel less lonely but after all this whole thing is only for me to bear.
Decided after hearing advice from several people, I will go ahead with it. Although not exactly the most practical, I feel it would be most pleasing to God. Not that the situation is pleasing in the first place but anything i could do to rectify the mess I’m already in. This is all confusing talk, ha ha. Maybe that’s the state of mind i am in right now anyway.